Why Celibacy?

Discerning Priestly Celibacy

Are some of these your thoughts in regards to celibacy?

• • “I really like girls!”
  • “I have not always lived a chaste life. Can I still be considered for the seminary?”
  • “I struggle with purity, so I’m not sure I possess the holiness that is required for a commitment to celibacy.”
  • “Celibacy seems like a life of loneliness…will I be happy alone?”
  • “I think I still want to be a father.”

The requirement of celibacy is certainly one of the greatest sources of anxiety and fear in a man who is discerning priesthood. This is especially true in a sex-saturated society and culture. The message we receive from the media and culture is very clear: no person can be happy and fulfilled unless they are having a lot of sex. But this is simply not true. As Fr. Benedict Groeschel once wrote, “The media trumpets the message that sex brings happiness. If this were true, we would indeed live in an earthly paradise and the world would be ‘happy valley.’”
 

The good news is that God’s grace can accomplish all things! With the power of Jesus’ cross, a man can overcome sexual lust and live his life peacefully in his respective vocation. It can be done. It is possible. There is much evidence. For example, there are approximately four hundred thousand Catholic priests worldwide. The huge majority of these men at one time thought or said said these or similar words. Well, all four hundred thousand of them are priests now. God will never send us where His grace cannot sustain us.
 

Even if you struggle with chastity right now, God offers you the grace to become sexually pure. Don’t let a concern about celibacy prevent you from considering priesthood.
 

Above all, it is important to see that priestly celibacy isn’t about repressing your sexuality. Rather celibacy is a declaration that the greatest joys of humanity are not to be found in earthly goods but in union with God in this life and in the next.
 

Celibacy in Scripture

Giving up Family: “And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life.” (Matthew 19:29).
 

Freedom to Serve: “Are you free from a wife? Do not seek marriage. . . . Those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. . . . The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.” (7:27-34).
 

Celibacy for the Kingdom: “Not all can accept this word, but only those to whom it is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of God. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.” -Matthew (19:11-12)
The emphasis is on the special nature of celibacy, one for which not all men are suited, but one that nevertheless gives glory to “the kingdom of God.”
 

Celibacy FAQ

Am I allowed to date while in the seminary?
No. The seminary is like the engagement period for a couple: you do not date others if you desire to create a true relationship with your intended. Likewise, to truly prepare for and discern the calling to priesthood in the seminary, you should not be dating.
 

What if I have been sexually intimate in my past, does that mean I can’t be a priest?
No. But, you must now be in the process of embracing chastity. St. Augustine led a very wild life as a young man, but he gave up his unchaste, sinful ways when he decided to live a fully Catholic life. There must be a significant period of “sexual sobriety” before entering the seminary, usually at least two years.
 

I am afraid that I wouldn’t be able to remain chaste.
If you ask God, He gives abundant graces to live a chaste life. You of course, must respond to those graces by using them to make chaste choices. As you grow in chastity, as it becomes a habit of your life, you will experience a strengthening, and an ease to being and remaining chaste.  Celibacy is a serious undertaking that must be at the forefront of your discernment; it is not for everyone, but it is possible for those who are called.
 

It seems unnatural to me to live your whole life without sex.
Most men and women are called naturally to the married life. So, obviously, living a celibate, chaste life goes beyond the ordinary; in fact it is a supernatural call from God to live a life of radical love for the Church. Yes, it is a sacrifice, but the rewards are great. Many great saints, religious, monks, nuns, and priests over the centuries have lived very fulfilled and happy lives.
 

Why can’t priests marry?

“I’m very impatient with some of the pragmatic arguments for celibacy—that it frees up your time and allows you to focus your energy in different ways. I’d rather see celibacy as a kind of irrational, over-the-top, poetic, symbolic expression of the soul in love.”  – Fr. Robert Barron

Priests in the Latin Rite forgo their natural right to marry “for the sake of the Kingdom of God,” as Jesus taught His disciples (Mt 19:12). It is a gift from God which opens a man’s heart so that he can embrace all of God’s children in a very powerful way. His healthy and holy inclination to be married and have a family is transformed into a supernatural fatherhood that renders his ministry, if he is faithful, fruitful beyond all expectations.
 

Other spiritual realities signified by celibacy:

• • Celibacy marks the priest as a man consecrated to the service of Christ and the Church. It shows in a concrete way that he is not merely someone who exercises a set of functions or who holds a certain office but that he has been changed on an ontological level by his reception of the sacrament of Orders.
  • Celibacy configures the priest more closely to Christ, the great High Priest, who forsook earthly marriage for the sake of the Kingdom and for the sake of uniting himself more perfectly to his heavenly Bride, the Church.
  • It is fitting that the priest who offers this same Jesus in sacrifice to the Father, show in his own person (albeit to an imperfect degree) the purity and holiness of his unspotted Victim.
  • Celibacy reminds us of heaven, pointing to the coming of the Kingdom when marriage will no longer exist.

Am I Being Called?

To be precise, a man only “knows” he is called when he is ordained! However, there are many positive signs that can point to a vocation, and which can help a man make the decision to enter the seminary and continue along the path towards the priesthood.
 

Quick Discernment Tool

Now that you are here and no one is watching or listening, read these statements to yourself, take them to prayer, then act on what you know is right. God knows, you may be called to the priesthood!

• • A personal relationship with Jesus Christ is important to me.
  • People have told me I would make a good priest.
  • I’ve hidden vocation material under my bed and in my desk.
  • Going to Mass and Adoration is a very important part of my faith life.
  • The thought of becoming a priest keeps coming back over and over again.
  • I’m afraid to tell my friends and family that I’ve been thinking about the priesthood.
  • I feel called to give more of myself to others.
  • After hearing the readings at Mass I think about how I would preach.
  • I have a burning desire to help people get closer to Christ and to know the Truth.
  • I have a strong sense that what I have planned for the future is not what God has planned for me.
  •  

If some of these statements reflect how you feel, if your heart is pounding even harder, if you sense a greater desire to find out if God is calling you to live in black and white, get in touch with the Vocation Director. Have no fear, the Lord wants only what is best for you – and so do we.

Signs of a Priestly Vocation

How do I know God is calling me?

If you have ever thought about being a priest, these qualities may be clues to a future priestly vocation:

1. God has placed in your heart a desire to be a priest.

If Jesus has placed a desire in your heart for priesthood, no matter what your age, don’t ignore it.  Talk to a priest you admire about how you feel.
 

2. You have a deep love for Christ and His Church.

A priest functions in persona Christi capitas—in the person of Christ, head of the Church.  Thus a man who wants to be a priest must love Jesus Christ above all else.  And like Jesus, he should have a deep love for the Church, the Bride of Christ.  In general, a man who wants to be a priest will find himself drawn to Church teachings and “all things Catholic.”
 

3. Other people have mentioned that you would be a good priest.

Often other people will notice a “priest’s heart” in a young man and say to him, “Have you ever thought about being a priest?  I think you’d make a good one.”  In fact, many men report that they grew tired of people making such comments—but that the encouragement eventually led them to seminary!
 

4. You desire to live a life of virtue and prayer.

Pope Benedict recently spoke about what people expect of their priests.  To paraphrase, he said that people do not expect priests to be experts in anything but the spiritual life. Thus, a good candidate for priesthood attends Mass, prays frequently, receives the sacrament of Confession, serves others, and strives to grow spiritually.
 

5. You want to help others grow closer to Christ.

A priest brings Jesus to people and people to Jesus.  For this reason, a man who wants to be a priest must have a deep concern for the people of God.  He wants to help them grow in holiness; he wants to teach them the truths of the faith; he wants to minster to them during the trials of life.  The vocation of priesthood is about leading others to heaven.

If you’ve thought about the possibility of priesthood, but don’t yet have all these signs and qualities, don’t despair!  All people must strive for holiness.  And future priests go through a long and intensive formation period, precisely to help them grow in virtue and be effective in their ministry.
 

If you’re interested in priesthood, talk to the Vocation Director about the signs above.  He can help you further discern your vocation.  And remember—true happiness and peace depend on following God’s perfect will for your life.  If God wants you to be a priest, trust in his grace to lead you.

 

Where do I start?

The Call to Priesthood requires discernment from both you and the Church. If you think you are being called to the priesthood, you should contact the Vocation Director of the diocese. The Vocation Director will assist you in discerning your call and help you with the process of priestly formation.

To come to a clearer understanding of signs God may be placing in your life, a program of prayer is of great value. This consists of the following:
 

• Daily Prayer: Prayer is the lifeblood of a relationship with Jesus. Pray daily and do not be afraid of it. If you are unsure how to pray ask Jesus to teach as he did the dicsiples. The heart of prayer is desire. A desire to know and understand God. 

 

• Go to Mass daily, if possible: The Eucharist is truly and really Jesus Christ. There is no greater treasure on the face of the earth. Make Mass the centre of your life and you will grow in a conscious encounter with Christ. 

 

• The Sacrament of Reconciliation: In Reconciliation we receive the loving forgiving presence of Christ. If you haven't gone for years, do not be afraid, the priest will understand and, in fact, be thrilled.

 

• Talk to a priest: God works in mysterious ways and it is often necessary to talk to someone who has walked in our shoes to help guide us. You can talk to your Pastor or the Vocation Director. 

 

• Read the Gospels: Jesus, the Word made flesh, speaks to us through the bible and particularly the four gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. As you read, pay attention to where your heart rests, what desires are stirred in you, what jumps out at you. Relate them to Jesus by bringing them to him in prayer.

 

• Live a life of Virtue: Holiness is shown through virtue or morally good character. A person's growth in Christ is shown by one's growth in virtue. The Father wants to help you overcome your greatest vices or immoral behaviours. If you are struggling with vice you need to bring it to him and ask Christ to help you.

 

• Spiritual Reading: Begin reading books that fill you spiritually which will help you grow in knowing Jesus direction for you. Just a few pages a day can make a great difference. Some suggestions: St. Augustine's "Confessions", St. Teresa of Avila's "The Interior Castle", Cardinal Dolan's "Priests for the Third Millenium", Fr. Brett Brannen's "To Save a Thousand Souls", the Lives of the Saints especially St. John Vianney and St. Maximillian Kolbe.

 

• Hang around good people: It is a simple fact that people become like those they hang around. We influence each other in good ways and bad ways. It is important that our friends are happy, fun and enjoy life but it is also important that those friends encourage us to do the right thing and to put God first in our life. Hang around the right people!